16 dic. 2009

Los visigodos empezaron

Uno no debería pagar depósito de un departamento antes de probar las delicias de su regadera. Para que se inicie bien una relación arrendador-arrendatario esto debería tenerse por verdad incuestionable. Mis cuatro mudanzas en los recientes dos años creo que avalan mis afirmaciones. Lamentablemente no hay casero que acceda a que un desconocido en vez de pisar todos los cuartos y si acaso abrir las llaves de agua y hacer una o dos preguntas, prefiera darse una ducha.

Cuando llegué a mi última habitación, estuve a punto de pedirle al dueño que me dejara bañarme antes de firmar el contrato, pero algo me distrajo en aquel momento. Por ese olvido tuve que pasar una semana bañándome con agua fría ya que la tubería tenía el capricho de impedir el paso del agua caliente. Transcurrió luego otra semana sin que acertara a coincidir con los señores del gas estacionario, de modo que seguí acumulando baños fríos.

Sé que las emergencias de mi vida poco interés pueden despertar, sin embargo, de mis experiencias en la regadera es de donde extraigo tanto mis ideas más negativas como las más optimistas. La sensación de que toda relación ha de llegar a la desdicha y a la tumba, seguramente, me llegó por primera vez junto con gotas heladas en mi espalda. De igual forma, no importa cuán terribles hayan sido mis sueños o mis insomnios, si consigo una temperatura agradable en la regadera cambia mi cosmovisión, de pronto, siento que hay armonía en el universo, que las flores educan con su vida y no con su muerte. Me siento dispuesto a bendecir a los repartidores de gas y a los prodigiosos inventores de las cañerías.

No me parecería exagerado asegurar que los pesimistas, los nihilistas y todos los que experimentan el sentimiento trágico de la vida nunca contaron con una buena regadera. ¿Quién que disfrute el baño puede después ser nihilista? Pienso en Cioran, que si bien era rumano, todos los años que vivió en Francia explican su pesimismo. ¿Cómo no ser pesimista en un país en el que la gente no se baña a diario?

Claro está que cuando uno se olvida del pesimismo se vuelve más difícil progresar. Lo que nos motiva a mejorar las cosas es ver que tales cosas están mal, y si las vemos sin problema, no resolvemos nada. ¿Para qué indignarme con la corrupción, la falta de educación, la pobreza si todavía puedo disfrutar mi baño de la mañana? No creo ser muy distinto del resto de los mexicanos. Nos caracteriza la tolerancia y el baño diario, la amabilidad y la displicencia, los efectos de agua caliente.

Hay mexicanos y majacanos, según don Fausto, mi casero, quien vino personalmente a martillar mi tubería, sin acaso pensar en la indolencia que siembra en mí un buen baño. Para él la culpa la tuvieron los visigodos. A mí me da gusto, no sólo poder hablar de historia con un propietario, sino que además no condene a los tlaxcaltecas.

Cuando don Fausto aprendió a leer comenzó a hacerle honor a su nombre y se dedicó a estudiar todas las secciones que encontraba en las bibliotecas. No es pretexto carecer de dinero para no leer, me dijo, yo iba a desde temprano a la biblioteca México y salía hasta la tarde sin darme cuenta de cuántas horas habían pasado, leía novelas, psicología, libros de divulgación científica, poesía, historia, filosofía, hasta libros esotéricos leí.

Si uno lee una bibliografía amplia, según don Fausto, sustentándose tanto de hispanistas como de indigenistas, ha de llegar a la conclusión de que nuestros males no provienen de los panistas, ni de los priistas ni del desbarajuste revolucionario, tampoco de los peleoneros liberales y conservadores, menos de los caudillos independentistas ni los tres oscuros siglos coloniales; hay que regresarse mínimo quinientos años, debemos remontarnos hasta la hidrofobia de los conquistadores que desgraciaron Tenochtitlán, que era más bella que Venecia. Pero el origen está aún más atrás, antes aún de la invasión árabe, en los pinches visigodos.

Los árabes donaron a España tolerancia, amor al trabajo y a los placeres, al arte y a la cultura. Hicieron hermosas ciudades, Toledo, Córdoba, Sevilla, Zaragoza. De los mozárabes proviene la algarabía, las albricias, el albogue; la tarifa, la aduana, el arancel; el arroz, el azúcar, el algodón; el jazmín, la azucena y la amapola. En cambio, ¿los godos qué nos han heredado? Bandidos y espías, guerras y linchamientos, burgos y feudos.

Don Fausto, que me había acompañado a hacer el contrato de luz, me dijo: estos incompetentes que se equivocaron al colocar tu medidor hacen las cosas por salir del paso, están más interesados en sus guerritas internas, sus líos sindicales, no construyen como los moriscos, sino que destruyen como los visigodos. Probablemente tenga razón, pero por lo pronto yo me conformo con mi baño caliente. Para cada desorden actual se podría hallar una causa en el pasado más remoto, ¿pero de qué sirve? ¿Quién habrá comenzado esa costumbre? Se me hace que fueron los visigodos.

46 comentarios:

Ara en Sombra dijo...

Ah. Sí. Los visigodos. Encuentro muy interesante el lugar dónde vives. Aunque no me invites. Dice un amigo que conoce a un amigo tuyo. Quién sabe, qué mundo tan raro y coincidencioso.


Gracias por escribir.

Anónimo dijo...

Ya lo decía yo que debajo de la polvareda que levantaban los cascos de sus caballos - miren no mas como entre tanto descalzo solo el jinete era ciudadano -, los visigodos no eran legales, y traían mugre. Divertido alegato de los placeres sencillos.

Anthony

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